


The Least of All Possible Regrets

by elenathehun



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Nationalism, Not a Love Story, Politics, Rule 63, Unreliable Narrator, Women In Power, Women in the Military
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23491591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elenathehun/pseuds/elenathehun
Summary: The absence of war is not the definition of peace.  It's a shame Danzo has never been able to convince her husband of that.  Well, no matter - she will defend their home with any weapon that comes to hand, no matter the cost, no matter the consequence, no matter any enemy that comes.
Relationships: Sarutobi Hiruzen/Shimura Danzou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	The Least of All Possible Regrets

The consummation was the easiest part. That is not to say it was _easy_ , of course - only that it had been easier than the prior two days of public ceremonies, presided over by Lord First and attended by a representative of every Clan. The months before the wedding had been even harder. Danzo had spent the winter season since her promotion to jounin playing a largely unseen game against the former Lady Sarutobi, and it had been grueling to go from mission to mission to public meeting to private gathering, and then back to another mission. Her mother had been no help - the blessed Takara- _no-kimi_ had laughed and told her daughter that it was good practice for the kind of work the wife of a Clan leader was expected to do. But in the end, it had paid off. Danzo was here, in the bed of a boy she'd known since the age of six, and a quarter of the village was outside the door of their bedroom, pretending they weren't eavesdropping on their nuptial performance.

But _only_ a quarter of the village. Not the entire village and then some, as had been originally planned.

"How'd you do it?" Her new husband asked, and Danzo rolled over onto her side to look at him. Hiruzen's profile was about as neutral as he ever looked - a soft smile and half-closed eyes, hands resting on his stomach. He didn't bother to look at her, but Danzo didn't expect that from him anyway. His chakra was still entwined with hers in the aftermath of the act, and if the fifth-best sensor in the Village wasn't observing her that way, Danzo would eat the very elaborate headpiece currently tossed on her wedding robes. 

"How did I do what?" She dissembled shamelessly, and laughed when he made a moue of distaste. "I hope you didn't think marriage would change me, Hiruzen, surely your mother told you otherwise..."

"How did you convince Lord First to move the wedding date up? Master Tobirama swore he was set on it being held during the tenth anniversary celebrations and nothing would change his mind,” he grumbled at her in return.

"Well, _Tobirama_ would hardly change his brother's mind," Danzo snorted. And indeed, why would he bother to try? The honorable right hand of their ruler didn't waste his political capital on something without gain, and he already had Hiruzen in his pocket, and the former Lady Sarutobi's support. The status quo suited him just fine.

Hiruzen bristled as he always did when someone insulted his beloved teacher, and Danzo rolled back onto her back, ready for another impassioned defense of a man many people thought deadlier than the God of Shinobi. A god could have mercy; Tobirama had none. But for once, Hiruzen...stopped. His chakra settled back down to his usual flow, and his pulse dropped to nearly his usual slow rate. 

"So if not _Master_ Tobirama, who else?" he said. There was still a little grit in his voice, but still - better. Much, much better than Danzo had expected. Perhaps her husband was more of a man than she had thought. She threw him a bone.

"Our honored ruler would hardly listen to his bachelor brother, yes? A young bride making her case is more the purview of a _woman's_ gentle touch."

"You spoke to Lady Mito," Hiruzen stated. He sounded almost _resigned_. How charming he was! "What did you tell her? She's a hard woman. She wouldn't accept anything but the absolute truth. Not like that pathetic performance you put on for my mother last fall."

"And whose fault was that?" Danzo reminds him archly, more than a little irritated by his insinuation. "I don't have the kind of face to look soppy and lovelorn. Your family is the one known for ridiculous gestures and grand words; mine is mostly known for the art of _cutting_."

There was nothing but sullen silence from her husband's side of the bed, and Danzo repressed a sigh. They'd had this argument before, and it was boring, and also useless. And it was beside the point, as well. She wanted to reward his good behavior, not fuel the bad. 

"I told Lady Mito that our marriage was for the village, but surely our wedding could be for us," Danzo finally said. "She's not completely heartless. She understands what you and I are sacrificing for the village. She values that we are doing this willingly, as adults, instead of the children we were when the betrothal was initially brokered. She made her husband see us the same way."

Hiruzen sat up in the bed. The winter blanket fell into his lap, and Danzo shivered as the gap let the cold air in. 

"I would not have thought her to be a romantic, but I forgot about her and Lord First's tempestuous courtship," Hiruzen said, his voice a little distant in thought. "I suppose she might be moved out of regret for our lack of choice, but she would not do it for free. What did you promise her in return?"

"Don't play the fool, Hiruzen, it is most unattractive," Danzo hissed. "It's not so dark that you cannot see what she wants - my promise is literally written on my body."

And so it is: a seal wrapped around her hips and written in a knot on her belly. Even now, it's pulling chakra from her, and from him, and from nature itself. Danzo turned 16 barely a month ago; Hiruzen will turn 16 in ten days' time, right before the turning of the year. There is absolutely no chance they will not be parents before the year turns again. With Mito crafting a fertility aid of such exquisite balance and power, how could it be otherwise?

"Our wedding is for us..." he says slowly, finally working it out. "But our marriage, and any child that comes of it, is for the village. I suppose I never thought that that far ahead, to be honest."

Despite herself, Danzo softened a little. Mother had told her that boys didn't become men until they actually held their children in their arms. Girls don't have the luxury; they become women as soon as nature marked them ready. Danzo had worked through this years ago. It was a little unfair for Hiruzen to work it out in a single night.

But her husband surprised her once again, laying back down and pulling the blanket back up. He rolled over to face her, and put one warm hand on her hip, guiding her to face him in return. Danzo shivered again, but for a very different reason than before. 

"I've always thought Konohamaru would be a good name for a son," he said casually. "But what do you think?"

Danzo thinks it's _absolutely terrible_ , but there are worse ways to pledge your fealty to the village. "I'll get used to it," she replies. "Again?"

Hiruzen shrugs as he moves closer and lower. "Well, we ought to give our audience more of a show, shouldn't we?"

He's grinning against her collarbone when he says it, and Danzo can't help but smile in return. 

"I suppose you're right. They did come all this way. But pull the covers up, not all of us are furnaces like you!"

He laughs at her, but he still obeys. Danzo could get used to this.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy belated birthday to me! I wouldn’t expect a lot of updates to this - I have other WIPs that are higher priority, and frankly, I can’t imagine there’s a big market for genderbent!Danzo/Hiruzen, especially since it’s _not_ a love story. But I confess, the indulgence of using my trash ship as a framing device for women obtaining power in a gender-segregated militaristic society was too good to pass up.
> 
> The title owes its’ genesis to two sources: the rageprufrock’s masterful [“The Least of All Possible Mistakes”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/330685/chapters/533662), which is still my favorite Rule 63 fanfic of all time, and a non-fiction book titled [“The Least of All Possible Evils”](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1844676471/ref=x_gr_w_bb_glide_sout?ie=UTF8&tag=x_gr_w_bb_glide_sout-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1844676471&SubscriptionId=1MGPYB6YW3HWK55XCGG2), about the limits of utilitarian philosophy with regards to war and humanitarian intervention. The former’s influence is pretty obvious; the latter - well, I didn’t necessarily agree with the author’s thesis, but at least it has something to say in a universe where a warlord and his wife created a system of governance based on the sacrifice of one child in every nation to create a deterrence to world war fought by child soldiers.


End file.
